New Blog on Mental Health

I found a relatively new blog on mental health. It is found at

http://www.uglypin.blogspot.com:80/ Go check it out. She is out to spread the awareness of the stigma and fight it. She has a newsletter you can sign up for and a pin you can get a wear.

We all need to do our part in breaking the stigma on mental illness. I support Mary totally in her work. She works in the Cape Cod area. She is on the opposite side of the country from me.  We met online on a list. She has some good things to say.

So pop over to her blog and check her out. Tell her MaryRuth sent you.

take care,

Self-injuring- getting the word out

Wednesday I gave a speech on self-injuring for Toastmasters. The difference for this speech is that it was for an International Contest. I had practiced a few times by reading it through. I hadn’t practiced as much as I normally do. It was a heavy topic for me as my friend has recently died from self-injuring. I wanted to get the owrd out on how to stop.

I did well. So much emotion came welling up inside of me as I started to talk. I did not feel like crying at all. I just felt this passion to tell people the dangers of SI. I gave my best delivery I think that I hve ever done.

I ended up winning the contest. Now I go on to Area on Feb 21. What that means to me is that more people will hear the message of self-injuring and how to stop the terrible behavior. It is good. Whether I win or not is not the main point. The main point is spreading the news that there is hope to stop the addiction of SI.

The last speech contest I was in I won also, then was disqualified by three seconds. That was a crushing blow as I did really want to win. This time, I wanted the message out and ended up winning.

Anyways, I am glad that something good came out of something bad.

Suicide

There has been three suicides in my small town of 400 in the last two weeks. That is terrible. Suicide is a terrible way to die.

The rates of suicide are increasing. The economy are causing people to give up hope and end their lives along with their families.

What you leave behind is lasting when you commit suicide. If you have children, they are more likely to commit suicide. Friends are also affected. It is like a dominoe effect.

I have been in the place before where I felt suicide was the answer. I know how it feels. I know the hopelessness and despair. I want to tell you something. Life does go on. There is something worth living for. God is there waiting to give you something to hang on to. Just call out for Him. That is what I did.

I can remember I was in the hospital for attempted suicide. I was in the pit of despair. I had taken my kids to my ex’s home. He had taken them to his sister’s to live. He didn’t want them. So I didn’t have my kids. It was me. I felt that God had abandoned me.

For some reason I started reading the Psalms. King David had been in the pit of despair many times himself. He went through depression many times. Read through the Psalms for yourself and you will see what I mean. He didn’t lose hope though, no matter what.

This chaplain came up asking if anyone wanted to come to sing. I decided to go just to get out of the room. We sang this song called “Just Because He Lives”. That song changed my life.

There a phrase in it that says “Life is worth the living, just because He lives. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow, Because He lives, all fear is gone…” It is a beautiful song.

I grabbed hold of it with all my heart. I started praying out to God for a reason to live. He gave it to me. That has been twelve years now. I haven’t been down to that pit of despair since.

God has brought me into recovery from my mental illness and into a new life of wonderful happiness. He can do that for each of you. You just have to give your life to Him.

Life is so worth living, despite the terrible economy. Things are bad. And they will probably get worse as times goes by. That’s the signs of the times. But God will never leave you or forsake you not matter what. He will provide your needs – in every way. I believe that totally. He does that for me all the time.

Please, if you are feeling suicidal, talk to someone. Remember that suicide is forever. The problems that you are facing are temporary. Things will pass. You have loved ones who will miss you dreadfully. And you don’t know whose life you will be affecting by ending your own. Please choose to live. You will be glad you did. So will others.

God will too. He loves you very much.

take care,

GRE testing

I took my GRE test Monday. It was hard. It took three hours with only a ten minute break after the writing session. I had taken a practice test at home. I scored rather poorly on the math section. I hit the books after that. On the test, I raised my score from 260 to 580 on the math section. Not bad for three days studying.

I did better on the math than I did on the verbal, surprisingly. I had practiced with flashcards over and over with the suggested words. On the test there were words I had never heard of before. I did my best.

Now it is time to wait to see  if my scores are good enough to get into graduate school or if I will have to take the test again. I Hope not.

Yesterday I had a stressful day doubting the wisdom of going back to school. It didn’t last long. I know I can do this. It is just that there are many deadlines right now. Application deadlines. It all adds up.

I am taking a heavy load – 17 hrs. Plus I am hunting for a job. That is adding to everything else.

I need to work on my schedule so I can get more writing done. My writing has been suffering since I have entered school. That is not good.

Everything will work out though.

One day at a time.

Self-injuring behavior

I have talked of this topic before. I am going to talk of it again.

I lost my best friend the night before last because of cutting. She was cutting on her ankle and nicked a main artery in her leg. She bled to death.

As I have said before, I know the deep intense emotional pain that causes self-injuring behavior. I have felt it before. I used to be a cutter myself. I have the scars on my body to tell the story.

But my scars are old. I haven’t cut in four years. I have won the battle over that terrible habit. If you are into self-injuring behavior, please get the book “The Scarred Soul” and read it. Read it several times. It will lead you to victory in getting over the SI behavior.

SI is addicting because when you hurt yourself you are releasing endorphines in your body that makes you feel no pain. Makes you feel good. You get hooked to these hormones that are released. But there are other ways to get the same hormones. Exercise is one.

Most people have a ritual they follow when they are going to SI. One of the first steps in breaking the habit is to break the ritual. I had to get rid of the glass I had. I would only cut with glass. Nothing else. I eventually got to the point where I wouldn’t even save glass when something broke around the house. I knew then I was cured of cutting.

Tell your loved ones that you are wanting to break the habit of SI. They will support you. Break the secret of the habit. Break the ritual. Then, when you are hurting so much inside you feel like you are going to burst, do something different – go for a walk, scream, dance, go bike riding, call someone, journal your feelings. I know journaling has saved my sanity many times. I journaled a lot last night about losing my friend to this terrible disease of mental illness.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Keep trying. You can break the habit. Success can come. Get some counseling if possible. If not, find a good friend you can talk to about anything. And talk, talk, talk. Let it all out.

Most of the time, when people SI, they are not trying to commit suicide. They just want release from the pain. But death does happen sometimes. It happened to my friend.

She was very sick. So many people tried to help her. She kept refusing help. I wanted recovery for her like I had found for myself. I had brought her out to live near where I was living so she could get the services she needed. She started refusing the services. She started sinking fast. She had some physical problems too. Probably cancer of the stomach. She had lost a lot of weight in the last few months.

I loved her very much. We were closer than sisters. She was the first person I met when I moved north.

I will miss her.

If I can write about her death and help one person to stop self-injuring, then her death will not be in vain. If you SI, please get help. You can stop. I did. Thousands of others have also.

You can do it – one day at a time.

Try it.

God Bless.

Stretching the Mind in Recovery

This is going to be a very stressful week. I have one week left to prepare for my GRE. GRE – Graduate Records Exam. I have to take this test to get into graduate school next fall. I am finishing up the classes this semester that I need, except for statistics to be ready to enter the Master’s Program for Psychology this coming fall.

I am so excited. A year ago, this was just a dream. Now I am on the verge of seeing it fulfilled. It has taken a lot of hours of studying. I have had to give up a lot of things, but it has been worth it.

Now, today I have studied math for about 7 hrs. That is a lot of studying on math. I used to be a whiz in the math department – 30 yrs ago. Now, I remember so little of it. I have that test next Monday. Today I took a practice test and scored very poorly. So this week I will be hitting the books every spare minute I can.

I am taking Finite Math in college right now. I had to sign up for a tutor last week. I am sure I will catch on after a few days. It will just take me a while. In the meantime, it means a lot of book time.

I am keeping my goal in mind during these tough days. My goal to help others on the road to recovery in mental health. As long as I keep that goal in mind, then the long days of studying will pass quickly. The price won’t be too high.

Can you think of something you have had to struggle with, but counted the cost well worth it?

Jed Foundation

The Jed Foundation is offering a $2,000 scholarship  for a video  based on a current student’s experience  with mental health and breaking the stigma and dealing with the issues. The prize also comes with a trip to NYC in June of 2009 and an appearance on MTVU.

The Jed Foundation works to reduce the rate of suicide among college and university students. This is a very worth project for any recovering students of mental illness out there. If you have recovered from mental illness and are going back to schoool, then work on this video on how you are doing your part to break down the stigma on mental illness.

The video only needs to be 5 min long. The deadline is Feb 23. YOu can email it to the site (following) or mail it by the deadline.

For more information check out the URL:

http://jedfoundation.org/programs/student-voice-of-mental-health-award/

try it.

New beginnings

Here is a New Year. A new beginning in many ways. This country has had some setbacks. This whole world has had some. But we can still be going on one day at a time, working on our recovery. No matter how bad things get, it isn’t bad enough to give up on your recovery.

Things are good for me. I am starting my next semester working on my psychology degree. Hopefully everything will come together for me to start my Master’s program next fall. I can’t believe that in one short year, I have accomplished so much in working towards my goal. I couldn’t have done it without God.

I have a heavy load this next semester. I will try to write more often in the blog. I have much to say on the issue of recovery from mental illness.

Recovery takes a lot of work. But it is so worth it. Life is great  to live. All the work is worth it when you go back to work, or develop new friendships, or learn a new skill, or whatever you do new in recovery.

In recovery, the sky is the limit. God can give you the means to reach for those new limits, those new dreams. One day at a time.

Try it.

Mania and credit

Thanksgiving is over now. The holiday shopping season has officially begun. Black Friday sales have hit everyone’s wallets.

It is very easy for some people with mental illness to hit a mania during the holidays and go shopping crazy. Especially with those little plastic things called credit cards. Please be careful. Watch yourself during this time and take your meds.

If you are going shopping, take someone with you. Go with a set budget and stick to it. Christmas should be a time of happiness and joy, not a time of regret over the money spent that you couldn’t afford.

You also do not want to spend the next eleven months paying high interest rates paying off this Christmas shopping sprees.

There are a lot of crazies out there that are not mentally ill. They are out there to take your money and your identity. Be careful with your wallet at all times. If you give your credit card to someone, check it when you get it back that it is yours. Identity theft is big during the holidays. Don’t give out your information over the phone to anyone calling for a charity or anything that may sound legit. They don’t need your credit card number or your social security number.

If you are shopping online, be sure the site is secured. Best bet is to pay through Paypal without giving out your credit card info to anyone else.

If you want to be smart, start saving in January a little each payday for the Christmas season. Then, when the holidays come, you can pay cash for everything. Nothing is costing you interest. Plus you have money set aside through out the year to take advantage of sales for special gifts for that certain someone. I shop for Christmas all year long. Saves money, time, and sanity.

I’m participating in a blogging scholarship. If you would like to do the same, visit http://students.spendonlife.com/blogging-scholarship by Dec 1st and blog away.

In the meantime, have a great shopping season. Stay in recovery mentally. Don’t forget your meds.

take care

Happy Thanksgiving

I wish to wish each of you a day filled with recovery and happy thoughts. I wish great food and good blessings for each of you. May this day be filled with happy times with family and friends. May each of you find just what you need this day. Remember to thank your Higher Power today for all your blessings, for without which you would have nothing.

I am spending today with friends. I talked with my children already. They are having a good day.

I did spend some time with a psychology book, taking time to catch up since we have three days off this week. The semester is almost over. I will have a month off. That is something to be thankful for.

I still need to work on my writing schedule. I have many subjects to write about, just finding the time to write is the problem.

Remember your gratitude lists – repeat them out loud each morning and evening. It will change your lives. Try it.